Trauma, Transformation and Healing with Dr. Fanike-Kiara Young

Episode 26 Description

Dr. Fanike-Kiara Young has an incredible background as a licensed therapist, master healing alchemist, reiki practitioner, certified clinical hypnotherapist, and has a deep background in behavioral health, childhood, and financial trauma. She helps women entrepreneurs overcome their negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs so they can step into who they want to be, both personally and professionally. Check out the episode links to learn more about Dr. Fanike’s new book as well. This conversation is full of wisdom and Dr. Fanike so thoughtfully shares so many pieces of her story. Welcome to the We Rise Podcast!

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Episode 26 Show Notes

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Key takeaways

You have to be ready to heal

Dr. Fanike-Kiara Young is a master healer, author, and therapist who helps women transform and heal their spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional selves. Women often come to her having hit rock bottom. Sometimes they aren’t happy in their marriage, their health and wellness practices are out of alignment, or they aren’t taking care of themselves.

They may have already invested thousands in a reputable business coach or financial coach thinking their problems will be magically solved, but executing the strategies will prove difficult without getting to the root of those limiting beliefs and low self-worth: trauma.

Every single one of us has traumas we’ve experienced in our lives and most are out of our control, especially if they happened to us in childhood. Even years or decades later, we can find ourselves continuing to deal with the aftermath of these traumatic experiences.

Not wanting to face them and work on it will cost us so much more in the end than if we just did the work to heal. We have to take our healing into our own hands and be ready to embark on the journey.

Dr. Fanike’s journey to “doing the work”

Dr. Fanike’s healing journey was not a straight line. At the age of 21, she was taking psychology classes in school and understanding the impact of trauma on the mind and the body and it clicked for her.

From there, she dove into supportive rituals like going to therapy on occasion, meditation, journaling, and studying spiritual literature. It wasn’t until years later when she was 34, fresh off a trip to China to teach a presentation, that she returned to her apartment and felt flooded with loneliness. 

She wanted everything in that moment – companionship, love, a deep bond with another person, someone to love her. It was a defining moment in her life. From the outside, it looked like she had it all – she was in the process of getting her doctorate, traveling all over the world, and working on her business. But she hadn’t healed many parts of herself, including the anger and abandonment issues she felt towards her father.

Rewriting the narrative around that story and her other past traumas was multilayered. Dr. Fanike had to learn to forgive. Every year on her birthday, she chooses one thing to focus on for the year. It could be anger, forgiveness, or even how she responds to others. Each time she works on something, another layer is exposed. 

Healing is a continuous process and an ongoing journey.

Vulnerability is a muscle that you have to strengthen

As humans, we thrive on connection. Vulnerability can be uncomfortable – it can be something we might face some resistance to.

At the root of it is fear. We’re afraid of judgment, feeling exposed, or critiqued, so we hide, and controlling that narrative can be exhausting.

Dr. Fanike admits that she had to learn vulnerability and strengthen it over time. Writing her book for example – it took years to write. She would start and stop, or cry while writing a certain section. She wasn’t ready, until she was. And when she was ready to truly step into that, the transformation was amazing. New opportunities and connections flooded in. If we never allow ourselves to be seen, how do we then open ourselves up to others?

When we share all of the good, bad, and messy parts ourselves, we invite others to do the same. It allows us to receive their energy and for them to receive ours.

So as you move through life, you have to decide: are you going to let fear stop you? 

Learn more about Dr. Fanike’s work at her website https://drfanike.com, and her new book, What the F*ck is Your Problem and check out her companion Active Worker’s Journal.

notable quotes from Dr. Fanike

“When I allowed myself to open up and be vulnerable, what I did was I unlocked the floodgates. And by opening up, I allow other things to come in.”

“I can’t expect to heal something that I’ve been holding onto literally for about 30 years of my life overnight. Five years later, I’m still working on those things. I still have to do my affirmations, I still have to do my meditations, I still have to have those conversations with myself.”

“If you never allow yourself to be seen or exposed by others, how then do you live the life that you are wanting to live?”

“Don’t work so hard to avoid your healing. We put a lot of energy into avoiding it – not wanting to face it or discuss it or do the work. That effort, a lot of times, will cost us way more in the end than if we just did the work.”